Our girls deserve better than silence and ignorance. I’m teaching fertility awareness to my daughters, and I think you should teach your daughters, too.
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Despite my internal desire to avoid it, my period arrived midway through eighth grade. While my friends could count 28 days on a calendar and know to the day when they’d need to be prepared, I guessed and I worried and I panicked and I pleaded:
Please, God. Don’t let me be embarrassed this month.
In college my cycles lengthened abnormally, stretching to 60, then 70, then 90 days.
“It’s probably stress and your eating habits,” the doctor said. “Let’s put you on the pill and see how you are in a few months.”
No bloodwork. No testing. Not even an exam.
It took a Catholic OBGYN practice and classes on NFP to help me figure out the truth: I’d been living with borderline PCOS for ten years.
I’d been misdiagnosed for a decade and prescribed a band-aid for a gaping wound.
Mainstream Misconceptions are a Danger to Women’s Health
I am troubled by the leap to contraceptives as a cure-all. I am bothered by doctors’ dismissal of of NFP as a valuable tool. It’s a misogynistic attitude with disastrous trickle down: vast numbers of women know precious little about their cycles, and even less about the methods that could potentially save their lives.
Mainstream medicine pathologizes women’s health. It takes a normal, healthy, integral part of her life – her cycle – and transforms it to an illness or condition to be suppressed. On the occasion there is something genuinely amiss, the pill pops up like candy for a petulant, pouting toddler: “Give her this,” the doctor says. “It will help to keep her quiet.”
But why in the world do we ned to be silent? Our womanhood isn’t awkward or wrong. Our daughters need to see their bodies as holy, as beautiful creations of a loving God.
Our silence only breeds confusion. Ignorance cultivates fear.
I’m teaching my daughters fertility awareness. Here’s why you should, too.
Fertility awareness breaks down fear
When we teach our girls to track their cycles, they know to do more than count numbers on a page. They can pinpoint the start of their period through cervical mucus and basal temperature signs.
Fertility awareness alleviates confusion
Girls deserve to know what their discharge means. They need to know what is normal, why it changes, and what part of her cycle it signifies. Learning fertility awareness helps them interpret those signs.
Fertility awareness prevents degradation
Our daughters’ bodies aren’t flawed, and they don’t need a pill to make it work right. Fertility awareness makes that evident, and encourages pride in their feminine characteristics.
Fertility awareness illuminates illness
When our daughters understand fertility awareness, they’ll be more cognizant of warning signs for disorders and disease. They will know the warning signs of pcos, and endometriosis; they can spot nutritional deficits and thyroid deficiencies. We can work together with our daughters to alleviate these issues, with holistic approaches that don’t just triage, but treat.
Misconceptions Against Teaching Fertility Awareness
Now I realize I might be unusual, and there are those who disagree with me wholeheartedly. But the arguments against teaching fertility awareness to our daughters are unfounded, and we need to break through these misconceptions for our daughters’ sake.
Misconception Number One: Fertility awareness is useless for young girls because their cycles are irregular
Incorrect. Cycle irregularity makes girls the perfect candidate for sympto-thermal tracking methods or Creighton observations. As the poster child for irregular periods, this knowledge was a game changer for me.
Misconception Number Two: Teaching the elements of NFP is overwhelming to young girls
Overwhelming, how? If we expect our tween daughters to learn Algebra, Biology, Theology, and the like, why are we assuming they can’t handle knowing how their bodies work?.
Misconception Number Three: Teaching the elements of NFP is scandalous and too much information
What’s scandalous about the beauty of God’s creation? About the wonderful way a woman’s body was made?
There is much to be said for innocence, and society’s working to strip it from our daughters faster than ever before.
But do I believe that arming my daughters with knowledge of their bodies will abet in the destruction of that innocence? Absolutely not. If anything I feel it will empower them, and open their eyes to the beauty of God’s plan for creation. After all, why would you knock down a sand sculpture when you know how much detail went into its creation?
Despite all its protestations of freedoms and equality, our social climate still treats women (and girls) as tools. I want my daughters to know their worth unequivocally, to be an agent for change in our culture of death.
So I’m teaching my daughters fertility awareness. I’m teaching them to advocate for true women’s rights.
Resources for Teaching Fertility Awareness to Girls
Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition
Taking Charge of Your Fertility (secular; should be previewed and read with your child)
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Oh. Yeah. I had serious problems for DECADES that even my female doctors kept throwing the pill at. Because I knew the dangers of the pill, I just dealt with the problems rather than take it. I didn’t know enough about how it should all work to be able to voice my problems accurately even after 3 kids. Teach those girls, G. When I finally found a good doctor who listened to me, my problems were solved. Without the pill. Had I been more informed in my youth I might have avoided years of pain and disruption.
So, so, good Ginny! Thank you for teaching your daughters and encouraging others to do the same. It’s empowering to know how my body works, and I’m glad to see more people teaching this!
I’m clapping over here. Just last night I was angered over the fact that nobody thinks about talking pills. When I started taking them at 17, the doctor said nothing. No warnings, no advice, nothing. Just here and “stay safe.”
But what is “safe” about ingesting faux chemicals that tricks your brain into thinking your pregnant 12 months out of the year except for one week out the month? What is “safe” about taking a pill that raises your chance for breast cancer? What is “safe” about masking underlying problems, like the one I have? I have low progesterone. I lost eight children before a doctor would even test me to see what was wrong with me. The answer was always the pill to “normalize” my periods.
I, too, teach my daughters about the wonders and beautiful gift of their reproductive cycle.
You should have written this for me <3
No way! You did a great job!
This is a very timely post for me. Right now our pediatrician has our 15 year old tracking her period with an app because it’s still pretty irregular. I am so afraid they’ll recommend she goes on the pill to regulate it. Not only do I disagree with the pill morally, as someone who has had two blood clots, I’m very concerned about the side effects. I don’t want her going through what I did. (My clots were not from the pill.)
If it turns out that’s what they suggest, look into NaPro Technology. http://naprotechnology.com
Reading this frustrates me — and not because of anything you said or did. In high school, after only a year or so of having periods, my cycles became irregular and difficult. The cycle was 6-7 weeks long, sometimes 8. The onset of cramps so sudden that I got nauseous and passed out. My mom eventually took me to our family doctor and he gave me a Tylenol/Codeine blend for the cramps and offered to put me on the pill to make me cycle regularly, which might also help with the cramps. Like you, no tests, no nothing. My mom was uneasy about the pill so I declined, and I lived with it until I got married and did go on the pill (because I hadn’t done any research at the time.) Life on the pill was easier, yes, but after two kids and some research I went off the pill. Eventually, the irregularity returned. The cramps weren’t as bad but the hormonal swings were WORSE. I went to my OBGYN, told him my history, asked about testing for PCOS or any other cause and he said “no.” He said I was getting older, and he put me on the pill. A year later I switched doctors and this OBGYN diagnosed me with PMDD (after consultation and patient history, but no tests to rule out other causes.) She altered my pill some, and this did help with the PMDD like symptoms for a while, but eventually was less effective. I went off the pill, started researching health and dietary changes to feel better, and I haven’t been back to an OBGYN for the problem since (about four years now.) I’m actually kind of sort of mostly regular now-and I think that’s only because both of my girls are teenagers now, mostly regular, and so living in the house with their hormones is somewhat keeping my hormones in line. It’s so frustrating when doctors don’t really want to check for and rule out anything that could be causing the problem and only want to give you something to help with the symptoms. I’ve been teaching my girls to track their cycles and pay attention to symptoms and things that might make pms worse, etc, but I haven’t gone as far as you have here. I hadn’t even thought of it.
I’m sorry you’ve had such frustration! It is maddening, really, how quickly they turn to the pill.
You should definitely check into Naprotechnology. I went through very similar circumstances and am so grateful for Napro.
You are brave and knowledgeable, Ginny. Great job!
Consider Lara Briden’s book & Healthy Hormone Blog as a tremendous resource. NaPro Technology is a medical technology based on fertility awareness- nothing else like it out there right now for women who believe in this.
SO tired of this unhealthy approach for teens who do not even have established cycles. A black mark on our medical system.
NaPro is wonderful! I’ve not needed it, fortunately, but my OB is very knowledgeable and works closely with the Pope Paul VI Institute, which is great.
NaPro Technology (NFP) has been easy and worked for us throughout the years. It’s really a relief when we are not guessing, hoping, or simply uninformed about what our bodies are up to. Grateful that before getting married, our archdiocese cared enough about each of us that they provided NFP instruction to every engaged couple, and we were free to pursue it or not. What led me to embrace NFP was not only its effectiveness, but I often asked, why take a pill every day for decades if you’re not sick. There must be some side-effects to go along with this.
Love, love, love this post! I did not hear about fertility awareness until I was a physician myself despite my own cycle issues previously. The problem is most doctors do not learn anything about these methods or if it is discussed they are taught it is the rhythm method and is mostly ineffective, which is NOT true. Now I am a Creighton Medical consultant, TeenSTAR educator and co-founder of http://www.FACTSaboutFertility.org – an organization dedicated to educating future health professionals about FABMs and their applications for women’s health.
We have so much work to do, so anything you all can do to spread the word and support our efforts would be much appreciated. Visit our web-site or Facebook page to learn more!
https://www.facebook.com/factsaboutfertility/
I love this article. I wish I had taugjy my daughter earlier about tracking her cycles. When she collapsed atv16 and needed a blood transfusion (yes!), I discovered that her periods where incredibly, horrifically heavy and long. It took two years and an incredibly gifted, NaPro Technology trained Ob-Gyn to care enough to run a series of blood analyses to discover that she had ovarian cancer. At 18 she lost an ovary and a filopian tube…and I am beyond grateful that she didn’t lose her life. At every appt we refused a prescription for the pill w/o an explanation. No ultrasounds were done, no blood work other than for anemia… Had we said yes to the pill, she probably would have died because her type of cancer increased her esteogen levels…more estrogen…more bleeding.
Wow! What a story! Thank God you found an answer. It truly is a travesty that the medical field doesn’t do more to investigate the true cause behind a young woman’s cycle irregularities.
I love this sooooo much. I had a similar experience as a teenager and was given the pill instead of help with some serious self-care problems. No serious screening for ANYTHING, and when I had side effects they just increased the dose. I was later diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder and told taking the pill is life-threatening for me. It struck me as a seriously irresponsible approach to medicine. All of this was before I’d ever heard of fertility awareness. I was a few years into my marriage and baffled by how to handle family planning. We were young and broke and already had two children. I stumbled through all the other options the doctor had to offer and found them generally unworkable. I learned about nfp when I was having serious issues with my last-straw option. It looked like the first piece of sanity I’d ever seen in women’s health. Five years later, I know when I’m pregnant before a test will tell me and when I’ve missed a period due to stress. I know when to address health concerns instead of seeing a psychiatrist. It’s one of the best things that’s happened to my health.